escape

i want to run. as fast as i can. away from here. from everything i know. everything i love. everything i fear. especially from the fear. the pain. the heartache. i want to run away. forget everything. even if it means runnning from love. from happiness. there is too much taint in the good things. the two have melded too closely together. it's time to start over. start someplace where the two are distiguishable.

i'll return. after my heart has settled.

but now. now i want to escape. under the covers. in another bed. in another city. in another place entirely. where no one can make me feel anything. numb. i want to be numb while i escape. I want to run from the hard stuff. the stuff that makes me cry. that makes me question everything i know.

i want to run to happiness. into security. run into arms that will hold me. forever. where i can nuzzle up and stay for as long as i want. that reality has been slowly fading from my mind. how can i hope for something i have yet to deem possible?