Letting Go

I think I'm finally starting to let go of him. I think things are more and more starting to click out of place. To "unbutton" if you will. Until I hope someday soon I can remove it all together. The memory of him. The memory that has wrapped itself around a part of my heart like a web, taking it hostage. Whatever it is that has me holding on, its grasp is releasing. I can feel it. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm finally realizing what I really want. What I really want for my future. What love really means. How much time I'm wasting by trying to keep parts of my past in the present.

I'm finding better things to hold onto. A better person that is worth keeping memories with. Maybe he's too far away to be a reality, but he feels so close in my mind. But maybe someday, we can finally be in the same place, and we'll never have to let go. He'll have my whole heart and I'll have his. But for now, I'll just have to keep picking at the web around my heart until it releases completely and I can have it all to myself. Then I can give it all to the one who deserves it, instead of the sliver he holds now, all i could give.

I broke down when he left me. And I let him leave my life. But the place I let him occupy in my heart has lived on, hardening as if it was there to stay. No more. Now I'm breaking down the place he's held in my life, in my heart. Bit by bit the pieces are falling. It hurts, but a good hurt. The hurt of letting go. And because of it, I've found that there truly is beauty in the breakdown.