words

words are the by far the worst way of communication. what can you say with words to really express how you feel? 

nothing. 

explain to me what love is.

see, you can't.

there are no words to adequately express what the feeling 

"love" is. you can try all you want, but you'll never be able to truly grasp the meaning. and so it goes with every word. you can't describe how a pear tastes with words. meg ryan tried describing it to nicolas cage once, and she failed miserably. words can explain a lot, yes, but can you really express how you're feeling when your whole world is collapsing around you? or when you can feel your life finally turning into all that you wanted?

so when i say i love you. or i miss you. those words. those "signs". are not what i mean. because my words. your words. while wonderful and sweet, mean nothing  

unless they are followed by feelings.

by actions that surpass

anything a word could ever mean

like new batteries

"she wants to know if i love her, that's all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall closet."

extremely loud and incredibly close

tell yourself

by all means paint

“If you hear a voice, within you say ‘you cannot paint', then by all means paint, 

and that voice will be silenced.” 

–Vincent Van Gogh

complete

after being hurt before, i made a point to steer clear of complete dependence on another person. but this isn't desperate dependence. this is wonderful independent dependence. because i am complete without you. but you make me so much better. 

you complete me beyond completion.

running

don't regret

is simply not

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." -- Albert Einstein

alive

We are unusual and tragic and alive.

- a heartbreaking work of staggering genius by dave eggers

just do something

“In any moment of decision 

the best thing you can do 

is the right thing. 

The next best thing 

is the wrong thing, 

and the worst thing you can do 

is nothing.” 

–Theodore Roosevelt

just love her

so mad

all the difference

i found out yesterday
that i can't function without you.
my mind and body literally don't know how to work
without hearing your voice.

at first i was worried. i couldn't focus on anything.
but then i heard your voice,
and everything seemed normal again.
i could function.

i can see your words, and know that you love me,
but there's something about talking to you (even if only for a few moments)
that makes all the difference in the world.

then you were there

and life hasn't been the same since.

it's been so much better.

don't forget me

I know it's totally irrational, but 

most days...

you make me feel like the luckiest girl alive

for being so incredibly loved

you really are the best thing

that has ever happened to my life.

somehow, 

everyday, 

i fall even more in love with the man of my dreams.

i love

mr. husband,

i love getting unexpected calls from you just to say that you miss me. and that you love me. and that living without me just wouldn't be a life worth living. those calls are the best.

i also love when you come home with a little surprise, like flowers, or my favorite candy, or tickets to a movie, or a weekend getaway.

and most of all i love when you want to spend time with me. because work is good and friends are great, but you and me time is your most favorite of all. and that's why i married you.

loves

just because it would make me smile

dear mr. husband,

can you please make it a priority to sweep me off my feet

at least on a regular basis?

oh, and can our love please last forever?

loves

wings to fly

when you come to the edge of all that you know, 

you must believe one of two things: 

there will be earth upon which to stand,

or you will be given wings to fly.

-unknown

just, don't go

always

Still

you still give me butterflies
you still make me smile, even when i try my hardest not to
you still know how to calm me down
you still make me laugh
you still help me remember what this life is all about
you still are my most favorite person
you still say the cheesiest things
you still are my best friend
you still are the one i tell everything to
you still are the one person i can be honest with about anything
you still are the first thing on my mind in the morning
you still make life so much better
you still let me be myself
you still know how to drive me crazy
you still give me the benefit of the doubt
you still let me act like a dork
you still make me happier than I ever dreamed I would be
you still take care of me
you still make me fall more in love with you every day
and most of all,

you still love me

12 months is only the beginning

of a life full of fun, love, and happiness

for real

i read (stalk) her blog and i couldn't help but snatch this

you alone

*you alone are enough.
you have nothing to prove to anybody*

- maya angelou

nothing

and oh how i do

Here

There's a place I've been lookin' for
That took me in and out of buildings
Behind windows, walls and doors
And I thought I found it
Couple times, even settled down
And I'd hang around just long enough
To find my way back out
I know now the place that I was trying to reach
Was you, right here in front of me

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd retrieve all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

It's amazing what I let my heart go through
To get me where it got me
In this moment here with you
And it passed me by
God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding
What I never thought I'd find
I know now, there's a million roads
I had to take
To get me in your arms that way

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd retrieve all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

In a love I never thought I'd get to get to
-here
And if that's the road
God made me take to be with you

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd retrieve all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

And I'd retrieve all the years
And be thankful for all the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

adjust

Adjusting to real life after so many weeks of adventure is not pleasant.

In fact I wish I was still away, exploring the world

instead of here, at "home".

It really would be home if you were here (and soon you will be).
When you're with me anywhere is home.

For now I'm trying to find some semblance of belonging

in a place I was so happy to escape.

tricky

today you called me. i couldn't answer.
so you texted me. you were in an accident, but you'd love me forever.
i quickly called you back.

were you ok? hurt? alive?

of course you were.
there was no accident.

you just wanted to hear my voice.


it was tricky, yes, but so very adorable.
I don't know why you love me, but never stop.

just because

when we are together

a girl can never hear it enough

destruct

i've been feeling self-destructive lately.
nearly ruining my most precious parts of life.

i can't figure out why.
and that's the part that hurts the most.

maybe it's too much of a good thing.
and my mind just can't comprehend that things could be this good.

maybe i'm just testing the waters.
seeing how far i can go until i'm too much. too much for anyone to handle.

because i still can't believe that i can really be happy. that i really deserve to be happy.

sometimes it's easier to be mad
than sad.
or happy.

but then again, i always forget,
that letting yourself find happiness
is always easier than making yourself miserable

I

you

reach

We are so very close, closer than i ever thought possible. closer day by day.
And yet, we're always left reaching. from two different lands. that don't quite touch.
The separation won't last forever. that's what keeps me going.
Someday we'll finally reach each other.

none

catch you

sometimes Disney says it all...

maybe love really can be that simple

miss you

You hold my heart.

I know it's safe with you...

but it doesn't help this feeling

of missing you so much
it hurts.

and it was so worth it

a lot

mr. husband,

if you ever come home
to see me

singing
and/or
dancing

in the kitchen,

don't be alarmed.
i just really love food.

A LOT.

so our hearts can be together

dear mr. husband,

when we're married, can we live in the same place?

and not 600 miles away



that's not too much to ask is it?

i would appreciate it so very much

love.

you know

you know you're in love

when the two of you fight

about who loves the other person more

next to you

I woke up this morning thinking of you. thinking you were right next to me. it was a wonderful feeling. blissful. i can't wait for the day when i open my eyes and see you really there, instead of a wall.

when life surprises you

don't forget to smile.
the confusing things will get settled soon enough.
and you might be even more surprised at the results.
because they just may be the very thing
you were looking for

sometimes

Sometimes you have to put up with hard things in life,

things that make you sad,
things that disappoint.
So that you can be happy.
And, as much as it just doesn't seem fair,
it's worth every moment
to feel a joy,
a love so strong,
that can't be denied.

And anyone who doesn't want you to have that,
may never want you to have it.
And you may have to move forward without them.
But sometimes,
that's what it takes.