when life surprises you

don't forget to smile.
the confusing things will get settled soon enough.
and you might be even more surprised at the results.
because they just may be the very thing
you were looking for

sometimes

Sometimes you have to put up with hard things in life,

things that make you sad,
things that disappoint.
So that you can be happy.
And, as much as it just doesn't seem fair,
it's worth every moment
to feel a joy,
a love so strong,
that can't be denied.

And anyone who doesn't want you to have that,
may never want you to have it.
And you may have to move forward without them.
But sometimes,
that's what it takes.

be happy

"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."

-Jonathan Safran Foer

Know This

My dear Mr. husband,

I wish I could tell you I am going to be the perfect wife. I wish I could tell you that we will laugh always and never cry or want for more. But that wouldn't be real. I'm scared. You should know that too. It used to be that the thought of marriage made me smile and was something I thought about every day. But now. Well, now the thought of marriage makes me squirm a little. I'm scared of falling so hard, expecting your loving arms to catch me, but hitting the ground instead, shattering into a million pieces. That you'll assure me of your love and commitment, but that, for whatever reason (of which I will always blame myself), you leave. You don't know the mess that would be left of me if that were to happen.

But I'd like to think that I'll have the faith in you and in our love that those thoughts won't need to be addressed. I'm going to love you so strongly that without you, my life will seem empty. Somedays I might not want to leave the house. I'll just want to stay home with you, doing whatever we want, as long as we're together. Of course there'll be times when I'll want you as far away from me as possible, but I hope those won't last long.

When things get bad, and trust me, they will, I'm going to want you there, to hold my hand, to run your fingers up and down my back to calm me down. After a bad conversation with my parents, I'm going to want you standing there, so you can hold me until the tears stop.

I'm difficult. But I'm worth it. I promise. I will make our life together the happiest you'll ever know. I'll be worth every fight. Every tear. Every slammed door. I'll be worth it. Because I am worth it. And if you don't know that, then you aren't my husband. And I'm not going to marry you.

love.

why i love clothes

"The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven't had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.”
-Yves Saint Laurent (YSL)

when sorry isn't enough...

...what else is there?

what else can you say to make it all better?

I'm sorry. I wish it was enough.

in a rush

I don't want to wait any longer. I feel so impatient lately. I just want things to start happening. I know I have to do the work, but, sometimes I feel like I've done enough work. I know how good I am. I'm good enough to get everything I want. I just want it now. I hate waiting. I hate wondering. I'm done. Just give me what I want. I don't want to be disappointed anymore. I know that that's just how life is. But I would just like to put life on hold for a while. To put it aside so that I can regroup. Get things in order. Get what I want. Vacations make me think too much. It scares me to think so much. Because I always realize how unhappy I really am. Well, not unhappy really. Because I'm not unhappy. More just, I realize what I don't have. What I want but what I can't seem to reach. I guess I just need to suck it up and get moving. Get working on my life. So that I really can get what I want. Because I know life won't just happen. I have to make it happen. But for these few minutes, I would just like to pretend. Pretend that life can be everything I want it to be.